Meaningful Reflection: 12 Days of Reflections Part 1

You are invited to read the following reflections, which were submitted by employees of USA Health. We appreciate all of those who shared their hearts and gave us permission to share these reflections. As we reflect, it is important to remember the stories of joy, those of challenge, people who are with us, and those who have left their legacies of love for us to carry forward in hope. You may read a reflection per day the 12 days before Christmas, the last 12 days of the year, or a reflection every other day for the month of December. Enjoy and share!

1. Three Wise People: Reaching Out with Hope

By Kim Crawford Meeks
Spiritual Care Manager

The theme for USA Health Spiritual Health and Counseling this year has been “Reaching Out with Hope.” The three people in the following stories offered hope to me, or I experienced them offering hope to others. Each of them made choices to help others and give, which then helped them to hold on to hope in return. The wisdom of their choices is far beyond wisdom we receive from classrooms or books. They each have, or have had, a wisdom in their souls that connects to supporting others and helping them to each take the next step forward.

The first wise person we shall call James (because that is his name, and his parents gave permission). Yes, I had to ask his parents for permission because James is about 4.5 years old, and yes, he is a wise man. I wish I could insert a video of him here, because he could tell his story so much better than me. One Sunday morning, our pastor called James up to the front of the church. James had this marvelous idea to have a lemonade stand with “real lemonade” in order to raise money for a school program called Backpack Buddies. That he went up to the front of the church without his parents brought joy to all of us. It’s not easy to stand up in front of a crowd! James positioned himself by the pastor and was quite the well-dressed and polished gentleman. The pastor asked him to tell us how much he raised. James didn’t whisper it in the pastor’s ear, nor did he look down at the floor. James, in confidence and celebration, announced that his lemonade stand raised $507! I asked his mom to find out from James why he wanted to give to Backpack Buddies in particular, and he said, “To help other children (thought about it a minute and adamantly added with pointed finger) AND to be good to God.” James is a young man, but oh, so very wise. He already realizes life is about reaching out to give hope to others.

The second wise person is Sweet Granny who was my grandmother. She never worked a job or drove a car, but she accomplished more than most people. She learned how to encompass and demonstrate a gentle and quiet spirit. She always had a kind word and something good to say about everyone. I said to her one day, “Granny, I have never heard you act out in anger, lose your temper, or say a bad thing about anyone.”  She replied, “That’s right.”  I’m so glad she demonstrated this type of love, and even more happy that she knew she did. Realizing our gifts and accomplishments is a blessing. If anyone reached out with hope, Sweet Granny did.

The third wise person from my blessing box is the Collierville Christmas Angel. She is an environmental service employee of a hotel. While in Collierville, Tennessee, one Christmas, I heard her numerous times throughout my stay exuding a joy and hope to others unlike anything I had ever seen from a stranger. It was not what she said, but how she said it. She stopped, checked on people, listened, responded in love, and offered hope. I wrote the corporate office of her hotel chain and asked if they knew they had an angel working for them in Collierville, Tennessee. I sure hope they gave the angel blessings beyond measure for the love and hope she was reaching out to give others.

2. Growing Old with Christmas

By Veronica Hudson
Manager, Workforce Development

As a child, Christmas always felt like it took forever to arrive. It was the most exciting time of the year, and I couldn’t wait to go to Grandmama’s house. I loved the cold weather, playing around her fireplace – since we didn’t have one at home – and indulging in all the Christmas treats: pecan pie, walnuts, oranges, apples, peppermint sticks, and red velvet cake. But more than anything, I looked forward to seeing all my cousins. Presents were secondary because we celebrated Christmas at Grandmama’s house and wouldn’t open gifts until we returned home afterward. With 11 siblings, we each received only one gift from our parents. Often, it was something practical or secondhand, like a bicycle someone passed down or a shiny red wagon to share. Sometimes, the girls would get a pink tea set. But it didn’t matter; the real excitement was at Grandmama’s house – eating good food, playing and being with family. As the years went by and my grandmother passed, Christmas changed as I stepped into adulthood.

As an adult, Christmas became about creating special moments for my own children. I loved decorating the house and picking out presents they had their hearts set on. They would get more than I did as a child, and I’d be even more excited than they were on Christmas morning, watching them unwrap each gift. They’d seem thrilled for a few days, but then the toys would find their way to the bottom of the toy box with last year’s presents. There was also the added stress of finding gifts for my many siblings, nieces, and nephews. With Christmas savings, I could manage, but it seemed each year Christmas came around faster and the costs grew higher. As my kids grew older, the season turned into more of a holiday hustle, and I often wished I could slow it down. But we still celebrated together, moving from house to house, cherishing time with one another.

Now, as a grandmother with five grandchildren, Christmas has changed again. It seems to come around so quickly as I age. I don’t shop for as many gifts, as my children prefer that I keep it simple for the grandkids since they already have plenty from other family members. My Christmas tree is a little more bare, and my decorations, now years old, carry a lot of memories. I use my Christmas savings more practically these days, paying off year-end bills. Christmas may be simpler now, but it holds a gentle warmth, a quiet joy. Growing old with Christmas has given me a lifetime of beautiful memories, and I am grateful for every season past and present.

3. Petals of Perspective

By Daphney R. Portis, MPA
Program Coordinator, Project Inspire

I bought a plant once. OK, OK; I went to the store, and came home a party of four

But hear me out! If I can be honest, my optimism clashed

With my struggle to see the small things through and,

I’m ashamed to say, after a few short months,

I watched my impulse of becoming a plant mom one by one wither away.

As I mourn, my babies left plenty

Petals of Perspective.

Disclaimer: This list is neither ordered nor comprehensive.

1. Roots need space to expand.
2. Even your foundation can rot to the extent that it no longer provides nutrients.
3. Your environment can place a cap on your potential.
4. I learned saying you’re patient and being patient are NOT the same.
5. In some cases, switching locations can send a shock throughout your entire existence.
6. You can do too much or not enough, and still yield the same results.
7. I learned sustainability and growth takes hard work.
8. There is a serious difference between thriving and surviving.
9. I learned that too much of something good can still be a bad thing.
10. And most importantly, I learned even when you don’t see an outcome, you keep pouring love and showing light; because life will always respond to the Son.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Just because my first generation of plants died, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to cultivate life. I just didn’t know how much work it would actually take. But trust, these seeds will bear fruit one day.

4. Lights of the Past

By Grace Garraway
Counseling Intern, Spiritual Health and Counseling

As the holidays quickly approach, they can bring many different emotions to the surface. For some, it may be a feeling of overwhelming joy, while for others, it may bring feelings of sadness and loss. The holiday season gives us the opportunity to spend time with the people who mean the most to us, but it can also remind us of all we’ve lost. In these moments of sadness and reflection, it’s important to remember that while our lives may have changed due to the loss of a loved one, we can still share pieces of them with the world. The memories we carry with us are moments that have shaped who we’ve become. Whether it’s the sound of their laughter, a favorite tradition, or a funny story, these memories are the lights of them that we can keep shining in our hearts.

This season, as we gather with family and friends, it’s important to share these stories. Sharing memories of our loved ones can bring up tough emotions, but it is also a way to honor the life lost, acknowledge the love shared, and recognize the lasting impact they’ve had on us. A small conversation about a holiday party, a vacation, or a cherished moment can help keep their legacy alive, weaving their memory into our new traditions.

One of my cherished memories is decorating the Christmas tree with my siblings. Since the loss of my sister, Kayla, this tradition has taken on even greater meaning for our family. It provides us with time to reflect on her legacy, share our favorite memories of her, and create space to process our grief together. It’s important to remember that the grief can return unexpectedly and does not follow a linear path. Grief is a lifelong journey, and it can hit especially hard during the holidays. These moments give us the space to reflect on our journey, honor the loss, and find new ways to cope, helping us grow more resilient through the process.

As we reflect on our past, it’s also a time to connect with those around us who may be struggling this season. Sharing memories and acknowledging others' losses can provide comfort and help strengthen the bonds with those still with us. While the holidays may not always be an easy season, through shared memories and stories, we can find a sense of connection and healing to help carry us through.

5. They That Wait….

By Fletcher Eaton, MA
Manager of EAP Services

“Darkness comes. In the middle of it, the future looks blank. The temptation to quit is huge. Don't. You are in good company... You will argue with yourself that there is no way forward. But with God, nothing is impossible. He has more ropes and ladders and tunnels out of pits than you can conceive. Wait. Pray without ceasing. Hope.” -John Piper

Walter Mischel conducted a study at Stanford University in the 1960s to learn more about delaying gratification. His test was completed by hundreds of children. It was very simple. The young child was taken into a room, seated in a chair at a table, and a marshmallow was placed in front of them. The researcher told the child if they did not eat the marshmallow while the researcher was out of the room, then they would get a second marshmallow. If the child did eat it, then they would not get a second marshmallow. They waited 15 minutes and camera footage indicates most of the children truly struggled with the decision to eat the marshmallow or not! They danced, wiggled, made faces, and, in some cases, ate their sweet treat! (You know you want to look up the videos online!)

A follow-up study 40 years later indicates that the children who were able to successfully wait and resist eating the marshmallow had higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse and obesity, superior social skills, and better coping skills in the face of stress.

There’s no denying it. Waiting is hard. We can eat the first marshmallow, but then we will miss out on the big prize. In that moment of weakness, we can grab the first shiny object that we see, but then the big treasure is no longer within reach. Life presents us with choices, and we wrestle with them every day.

What are you facing in your life that has brought you into a season of waiting? At a crossroads in a relationship? Have a difficult career choice? Critical moment with a child or a parent? Carrying the heavy load of grief or trauma?

The season of advent is a time of waiting and introspection. If you find yourself struggling with a big decision or cumbersome issues, then you will likely be tempted to eat that first marshmallow just to make the discomfort go away. What if you acknowledge the discomfort and embrace the season of waiting? Doing so will allow space for you to deepen your thoughts and your character, expand your support system, refine your relationship with God.

So, what will it be: one marshmallow or two?

6. Magic of Christmas

By Roy Weeks, MSHA
Director of Support Services, Children’s & Women’s Hospital

Christmas is perhaps one of the most important holidays of the year. I remember the joy and excitement I felt as a child every time this particular time of the year came around. I remember distinctly how our mother would have us – my brother, sister, and me – clean the house with even more attention to detail than usual. I remember fondly the many cuisines that seemed to get cooked only at Christmas. Traditionally, eggnog, cookies, and light snacks were the stakeout food choices for the hopeful Santa sighting. Somehow, I always miss Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick as he placed colorful gifts around our carefully and splendidly decorated Christmas tree. Now that I am older, it seems the magic of Christmas is a tradition of the past.

Nothing could be further from the truth; in today's fast-paced and hectic world, we need the magic of Christmas more than ever. Families now find themselves many miles apart as they leave their homes near and far for better opportunities. The world can seem uncertain for many who find it difficult to cope with how rapidly things have changed. Sometimes, the day-to-day journey can seem overwhelming. People need help. No wonder many folks do not hold the same reverence for this particular time of the year. I long for the days when families would come together, engage in fellowship, and share love, gifts, and good tidings.

Working in healthcare is a lot like Christmas, when sympathy and a genuine desire to help are at the forefront of every interaction. By character and following the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, we can have positive, long-lasting effects on the lives of the people we encounter. Treating our patients, their families, and our staff with compassion and care is the gift that keeps giving. Each positive encounter that a person experiences allows that person to share and "infect" another person with care, compassion, and happiness. At our core, we are all good people. We all possess the gift of empathy and kindness. A kind word, a smile, and acceptance will tear away walls built from years of frustration, neglect, and loneliness. In truth, our patients and families come to us in their most vulnerable state with simple requests: be nice to me, do not hurt me, help me. We must never forget our humanity and our good fortune and help those who cannot help themselves. Christmas – more than any other holiday – holds this special connection to what we humans must always strive to be. I am grateful to work alongside people who value the uniqueness and different qualities of all people at USA Health Children's & Women's Hospital.

One of the exercises I did as an elementary school principal was to determine my “motto.” As I reflected, a poem I memorized in high school came to mind. It was a version of the poem by Dale Carnegie, "Smile." It began, “A smile costs nothing and creates much. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.” And it ended, “so if in a hurry you see someone in need of a smile, leave one of yours, for no one needs a smile more than he who has none to give.” There must have been a reason I still remembered that poem from 50 years ago. Then I found the acronym for SMILE - See Miracles In Life Everyday! That was it! It then became part of my email signature for work — my philosophy of life or motto.

People who know me, know how much I love a good sunrise or sunset, flowers, butterflies, birds, rainbows, the ocean — basically anything in nature. I can’t remember when I started appreciating these things, but the invention of the iPhone camera helped me to capture these memories — I mean “miracles.”

The definition of miracle is “extraordinary and astonishing happening that is attributed to the presence and action of an ultimate or divine power.” Life is a miracle. Everything and each person around us are miracles. When I see the beauty around us, I often think, how can people not believe? When you start thinking about everything in this way, you can’t help but smile and see those miracles around you.

Back in the '80s or '90s, I gave my mother the bumper sticker “Miracles Happen.” After getting another car, she somehow removed it, saved it, and put it on her next car because she believed it too. Miracles do happen! Change your mindset, smile, and look for the good in everything and everyone.

Everyone in our life is a blessing and a miracle.

Be a blessing to others and S.M.I.L.E.