Meaningful Reflections: Roses of Remembrance 

By Kim Crawford Meeks
Spiritual Health & Counseling Manager

We most likely will all go through some type of grief and loss at some point in life. Part of love does include grief when we are away from the person or pet that we love. During the holidays it can be especially difficult to process the emotions surrounding grief. Whether the loss is a person or pet, it can be a difficult and overwhelming pathway to travel, especially during the holidays. If you encounter a rose along your journey, consider this exercise in meaning and remembrance.  

As you hold the rose you may feel a thorn that reminds you of the intense pain you are experiencing due to your loss.  

As you touch the silkiness of the petals, allow soothing comfort as you remember the feeling of their hand in yours or holding them closely forever in your heart. 

As you breathe in the fragrance of the rose, remember the fragrance they brought to each embrace, or the aroma of the cookies you baked together, or perhaps the smells of the beach where you vacationed together each summer. 

As you look at the color of the rose, allow the color to comfort you. Perhaps your rose is red, and it reminds you of a Christmas together. If your flower is yellow, does it remind you of the sunlight they brought to your day? An orange rose may remind you of a pumpkin patch you visited on a crisp autumn day. Pink petals may remind you of their lips and a gentle goodnight kiss. 

As the flower begins to age, keep the petals to remind you that your loved one is always in your heart. Perhaps you will press this bloom of remembrance in a book you read together, in a clear glass container on your nightstand, or in a locket around your neck.  

We probably have all heard the saying, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.” It is true that with each relationship the person becomes part of your eternal heart.  

These lyrics to the Bette Midler song “The Rose” offer a poetic explanation of the beauty and heartache that are both involved in love. 

Some say love, it is a river 
That drowns the tender reed 
Some say love, it is a razor 
That leaves your soul to bleed 

Some say love, it is a hunger 
An endless aching need 
I say love, it is a flower 
And you, its only seed 

It's the heart afraid of breaking 
That never learns to dance 
It's the dream afraid of waking 
That never takes the chance 

It's the one who won't be taking 
Who cannot seem to give 
And the soul, afraid of dying 
That never learns to live 

When the night has been too lonely 
And the road has been too long 
And you think that love is only 
For the lucky and the strong 

Just remember in the winter 
Far beneath the bitter snows 
Lies the seed that with the sun's love 
In the spring becomes the rose   

May we all be the people who are not afraid to dance and always accept the chance to give or receive love. May we all plant seeds of love. 

Learn more about Spiritual Health and Counseling at USA Health. Patients, family members, and USA Health associates are encouraged to call the Meaningful Reflections Line at 251-445-9016 for a daily recorded word of encouragement.